Escape From Pianosa

I was almost disappointed to find my mystery tenant had moved on to greener pastures. I even brought my camera for the people who wouldn’t believe me when I say there was a bum living in my back yard. Alas, his timing was impeccable as the girl demanded a tour of the back. It’s so cute she said, yes, I thought you could even live here if you wanted…

I went to the city to get my scooter out of the back shed in my house in Baltimore.. And I notice that everything smells like shit… And I look around… And there’s blankets on the ground, in my little back yard. Yes, there’s a bum living there. A freaking bum living in my back yard. No wonder the house isn’t selling.

But this pales in comparison to the woman in my rental house who, after notifying me 2 months ago that she’s leaving, decides that in fact she wants to stay. Only she doesn’t tell me until two days before another family is scheduled to move in, and one week before I sell the house to another investor.

It pales in comparison because unlike the bum, who I can evict by moving his blankets and bicycle into the alley, I have to hire a lawyer to get the woman out. It’s my property, she has no right to be there, yet legally I’m forbidden from removing her. Tell me how that makes sense. If a stranger breaks into your house you can kick ‘em out at gunpoint. I don’t see how this is any different.

First off, my Euro-trip is in a state of perpetual delay. It entered this state only after I told everyone I knew that I was going to Europe, and yes I’m so excited! Predictable. Now I believe that my Euro-trip is waiting for me to make plans for the fall and find a great job here stateside before it becomes a reality, forcing me into a painful dilemma. The Euro trip is my greatest enemy right now.

In other news, I spent nearly all of last week(end) at the Theater Project in Mt. Vernon, working on stuff related to the Baltimore Improv Festival. I was excited and nervous to host opening night, which turned out to be a great success. I had my first performance on Saturday night. People tell me it went well but I don’t really remember; I was so nervous and excited that I basically blacked out and can hardly remember what I said or did on stage. Glad to have my first one out of the way, hopefully with many more shows to come.

The rest of the weekend was spent in workshops or watching shows. I was going to say what my favorites were but there were so many killer performances I can’t even remember them all. Caveat from WIT, Neutrino, Upright Citizens Brigade, Rare Bird Show, and of course the BIG troupes all stand out.

Did an awesome workshop with Neutrino on Saturday. Why is improv so fun? Because you can get together for three hours with random people, screaming at the top of your lungs, crying, laughing, and going crazy. If you do it well enough, people laugh and say you’re really hilarious and that looks so hard how do you do it! And it’s all encouraged and very cathartic of course. I’m hopelessly addicted.

And the last excuse for not blogging is that I’ve been at the beach all week… I apologize to my loyal readers and friends in med school who have nothing better to do when on-call at 2 AM (that’s why we play fantasy baseball..so that these moments of boredom can never occur!). More to come…

I’m selling my rental property in East Baltimore–great time to sell, right?

So I was showing it last night to another investor and as we were walking to our cars we heard pop pop pop pop pop. Hey were those gunshots? Yeah, I think so. Funny because I hear that all the time in Baltimore, just random popping–I always thought they were fireworks. A woman unrolled a window above us and said “get used to it, mmm hmm.” We didn’t see anyone running, or police sirens or anything. Target practice?

Once you watch The Wire, you’re spoiled. On the plane they showed Freedom Writers. What drivel. A movie about an idealistic white woman, inspiring the ignorant blacks and Hispanics. Yes, if only they had better, whiter teachers to teach them about literature and writing!

What’s the lie? That the system is OK. That welfare and housing projects and the drug war (especially the drug war) and socialist government schools haven’t destroyed inner city culture. No, everything’s OK. Nothing some good ivy league inspiration can’t solve, right? Or how about some Scheherazade?

Where to start? God only knows. Shows like The Wire don’t pretend to know. The good intentions of the guilt-ridden have done enough already.

Check it out… the Baltimore Improv Festival will be August 2 - 5 at the Theater Project. For those that prefer MySpace…here’s the link.

There will be shows and workshops by comedians from all over the country, including Upright Citizens Brigade. Lots of fun for those who enjoy comedy!

Sadly, my advanced improv class with the Baltimore Improv group is over. The advanced class was much more challenging than the beginner and the teachers really pushed us to develop new characters.

If you’re in the Baltimore area, I strongly recommend taking one of BIG’s classes; I’ve never had so much fun in my life. If you don’t live in Baltimore, then most major cities have places where you can take classes; if you’re looking to laugh a lot, meet new people, and push your comfort level, then it’s a great experience. On the other hand, if you want to be alone, not laugh, and be comfortable, I suggest skipping the improv and staying home.

So what now? I’ve been reading up on improv here and here (I took a class with Mike, who is now blogging on improv and obscure computer topics in computer programming), I’m going to try out for some improv troupes, and a few of my classmates might be starting up a group of our own.

A bum knocked on my window…I glanced at him and rolled it down.

He flashed his toothless smile and said “your mother’s my woman!”

Things like that make me love Baltimore.

The Carnival of Maryland is now up at Crablaw’s Maryland Weekly and I am now a member of the Maryland Blogger Alliance, hosted by Pillage Idiot. Take a look at some of the links on the right if you’re interested in what other MD bloggers are saying.

The sun reports. No word yet on whether the state will also approve laws banning the unjust seizure of homes for unpaid property taxes, an archaic and unfair practice that goes back to the early days of Maryland.