Escape From Pianosa

So Dwight has overcome his struggles with the self-aware computer and focused his energies on ‘agrotourism’? Really, agrotourism? Ok. Tell me more Dwight.. Agrotourism is a lot more than you think… “it consists of tourist coming to a farm, showing them around, giving them a bed, giving them breakfast.”

And Hey, Micheal is doing improv! Back to his roots. “You can do a scene where you pretend you have a car” like when I used to do scenes where I pretended I had a job. Or that I didn’t live with my parents.

“In the Shrute family, we have a tradition where when the male has sex with another woman, he is awarded with a bag of wild oats.” I’m so on board with you Dwight.

Ok and what’s with the squirrelly Amish type running around?

And no…not telemarketing Micheal. You sell out. I so wanted to see him doing improv, or nonimprov. An improviser pretending to be a nonimproviser, improvising. If that makes any sense. Seriously, how much will it take to see this? I’m pledging $50.

Apparently the squirrelly Amish type likes to throw shit around! Mose!

Dwight’s reading Harry Potter to Jim and Pam. Mose likes the hobittses, they have his ring, yes?

Poor Dwight, moaning in the night. Can we get him his oats already?

I see Ryan is now actively attempting to be a complete douche bag. “Hey guys, how’s my favorite branch!?”

And up pops the toolbar. That’s what she said.

If I had money problems, would I do this? Hm, not a credible signal Michael.

“But you need to access your uncrazy side.” God he’s so smooth. “Slow down. Think it over.” So smooth.

“Lord Rupert Everton. A shipping merchant who raises fancy dogs. That’s the life.” Indeed!

Runaway train never coming back… and it ends a bit slowly but good to see Dwight refinds himself. And I just found his blog…

These are the contents of 1985 Dwight’s Time Capsule:

1. A dehydrated beet sculpture of myself holding a very small metal box meant to represent a miniature version of the time capsule. I was very much into beet miniatures when I was teenager. I did not, however, know my “BeetDwight” would shrivel into dehydration. That occurred because of science, not intention.

I love these Seinfeld commercials. I don’t understand why advertisers don’t use these story commercials more often… stories that are three short episodes shown during a TV show. People love stories. Maybe they’re worried about channel-flipping? I don’t know who could tune in to The Office and turn off the TV before it’s over.

Dwight vs. the self-aware computer. I love it. The singularity will not be televised, it will be IM’d to your desk.  God this show is great.

I just started watching The Office and I’m kicking myself for missing the past three seasons. Michael is a brilliant character and he’s already taught me something about online marketing:

Michael: “Business to business. The old fashion way. No blackberries. No websites. I would like to see a website deliver baskets of food to people.”

Indeed!

This season of Curb has been a little slow but that was a great line.

Katie says The Hills is a reality show. And I ask “but how can the acting be so bad on a reality show?” She smiles and says they’re nervous in front of the camera. But I know they’re not. They love the camera. They’re addicted to the camera. Comcast agrees with her. So does Wikipedia. But I’m not buying it. It’s way too produced to be a reality show. And the acting is so so bad. That’s what I love about it.

I just watched the premiere episode of Flight of the Conchords. It’s an offbeat comedy about two Nw Zealanders transplanted in what looks like New York. Subtle but hilarious. You can watch the first episode for free. Link here.

Having heard Ali G accuse so many of his detractors of “racialism,” I thought it was just a word made up by Sacha Baron Cohen. Alas, it’s really used in Britain, and there’s no parody here:

“So she explained. The Green Man, she said, prided itself on being the most racialist pub in England. That was her word: racialist. There were other racialist pubs, she said. In fact there were two more in Bury. But none was as consistently racialist as the Green Man. The Green Man, she continued, had never served a colored person.”

That’s from Among the Thugs by Bill Buford, a fascinating read about a reporter who infiltrates a gang of English soccer hooligans. It’s a good way to knock that notion of European civility from your brain, if only temporarily.

Once you watch The Wire, you’re spoiled. On the plane they showed Freedom Writers. What drivel. A movie about an idealistic white woman, inspiring the ignorant blacks and Hispanics. Yes, if only they had better, whiter teachers to teach them about literature and writing!

What’s the lie? That the system is OK. That welfare and housing projects and the drug war (especially the drug war) and socialist government schools haven’t destroyed inner city culture. No, everything’s OK. Nothing some good ivy league inspiration can’t solve, right? Or how about some Scheherazade?

Where to start? God only knows. Shows like The Wire don’t pretend to know. The good intentions of the guilt-ridden have done enough already.

One of the best things about being between careers is that you have some time to experiment and try out new ventures that you otherwise might not have time for.

One of these ventures is a Web TV show we’re creating for Generation whY; the show will discuss social and career-related issues that affect young professionals today.

We don’t have a website yet, but the show’s main sponser is Zoodango.com (”where you connect with young hip urban professionals”), a social networking site created by James Sun of Apprentice fame.

I’m super excited because I’ve spent the past few months working on show ideas and writing scripts with Aaron Altscher, and this weekend we’re flying to Seattle to film the show. More details to come…

I may have told you this weekend with great excitement about a groundbreaking new sitcom that takes places in a terrorist training camp. The terrorists were all named Abdul, and everyone was portrayed as an hapless idiot–a terrorist parody. Edgy but hilarious.

And unfortunately, not real. Turns out it was an April fool’s day hoax from NPR’s On The Media. I’m disappointed, as I was looking forward to the show…